Girls Make Good Friends
Tuesday, January 10, 2006 at 8:30PM A while back I told everyone my opinion that guys await their day to be Jet Li. There's another guy-ism that I'm strongly opinionated about that I've neglected to write about:
Guys are not friends with girls they wouldn't have sex with.
Roll that around a bit, I'll wait. Take your lil' time. Don't get defensive! Just think about it. Think about all the girls you consider to be a friend. You might not be overtly interested in bedding her, but I bet that given enough alcohol, opportunity, and/or civilization-ending-situations you'd consider taking a dip.
This concept introduces all manner of complications. When I share this opinion with a girl, I usually get a story about a guy friend they have that has been by their side for years and years, selflessly making his shoulder available to console them when some dastardly man breaks her heart. This argument doesn't phase me. The fact that a guy would sleep with a girl doesn't mean he's going to act on it. There's a big difference. When I explain my position on this to a guy, they almost always agree with me. They might not do it in front of their female friends, but I know what they really think.
I can say this because I don't really have any female friends. The ones I do have are acquaintances or I have already dated in the past. Acquaintances are exempt because you usually don't seek them out. We all work with woman that we are happy to talk to and socialize with at the office, but we probably wouldn't mess with them outside of the office unless they are 'one of the guys' or we are interested in more. The other exemption are girls that you have already dated. I don't think it would be a stretch to say that if you still associate with a girl that you've already dated, you probably wouldn't mind hitting it again.
This also doesn't mean that a guy should be jealous of any guy that claims to be friends with his girlfriend/fiancee/wife/whathaveyou. Those of us who have come to terms with the reality of this situation understand that it's merely a part of the dance. It's kind of a compliment. It makes me feel good to know that other guys admire a girl I'm dating.
So be wary ladies. Keep this little idea in the back of your head, but remember that it's normally harmless. Consider it a compliment.
UPDATE: A commenter on Nashville Is Talking says this idea changes when you are married. Bull! I was married for years and I don't think it changes things at all. You might be friends with women through your wife. These are effectively working relationships. The ones you would like to sleep are the ones you'll like the most. I think the problem here is that some people take these feelings in a negative light. It's merely our sexual instincts. You probably wouldn't ever act on it...
UPDATE 2: This all excludes gay men. I don't think they apply these criteria to their female friends.
Reader Comments (3)
I can neither confirm nor deny the statements above.
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Peace
TreeFrog